2010

2011 is fast approaching {uh, like it's tomorrow!!} My husband and I love the concept of new starts. A clean slate. New mercy.

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

-lamentations 3:22-23

2010 has been a banner year for husby and me. Together, we:
- moved to North Dakota
- started new jobs
- got a doggie!!
- made a baby
- lost a baby
- moved to Minnesota
- lived in my moms hallway
- started new jobs
- bought a house

In 2010, I (by myself) have:
- fallen in love with blogging
- said goodbye to old friends
- made new friends
- wept
- rejoiced and happy danced
- blogged
- grieved. deeply.
- won a ticket to BlogHer10
- made new friends again

Not going to lie - I'm glad to leave 2010 behind. What a tumultous year! But, it has given me gifts. For the first time in a loooong time, I have hopes and dreams. And I've even taken a few steps to go for them!

May I share my hopes and dreams for 2011 with you? I would appreciate it! Yes? OK? Ok =) Here they are. My hopes and dreams and goals for 2011 are to:

* read the whole Bible. {I've signed up to do just that with Moms Toolbox. I start reading Jan 1.}* get healthier. {praying over a couch to 5k program. setting a schedule w/husby to go to bed earlier. made a doctors appt for next week. told NysseTheDog that I'll be walking her =) }* embrace the morning! =) {this one will be particularly difficult, but it's important to me, so we'll see!}* pour my heart into this place, here, with you all. Create a lovely, simple place to hang out and read. {ie New design and domain!}
* believe in God, myself, and the long term dreams we've created. Keeping the lid on the specifics of those for a bit, but will share as soon as I can! I am excited and motivated

Nothing too lofty, but still stepping out in faith with big dreams. Do you have hopes and dreams for 2011?
-a girl

DaySpring after-Christmas sale!

I work part time at a Hallmark store. We have had so many people come in to the store to stock up on our sale products to stash away for next Christmas. Ornaments, wrapping paper, cards... Not all of them are nice, and the lines can get long, and I don't know about the temps where you live, but here in MN it's a good day if we hit 20*. So here's a chance for you to stock up for next Christmas from your couch, maybe even while in your jammies! =)

That's right. The online DaySpring store is having a gigantic sale! Up to 75% off on their sweet Christmas items, like these-

'Jesus is the Gift' platter for $12.49 {that's 1/2 off!}:

this 'Simple Joys' calendar set for $5.99 {that's 70% off!}:

These are a few of my favorite things {on sale!} Have you found any adorable-ness on sale at DaySpring?

-a girl

*I was not compensated for anything in this post. Links in this post are affiliate- if you purchase something from DaySpring through my blog, I will receive a small commission. All thoughts are my own - I really do think their products are so cute and fun!*

wordless wednesday: Christmas 2010

Yep. Those are d-con mouse traps, in my Christmas stocking. To kill the miceys that live in our laundry room. They are so gross. And so far, I have been the lucky one to find them all - dead and alive. Thanks, Santa.
-a girl

Christmas 2010!

Merry Christmas, friends!
That is one of my very favorite things to say! =) This girls' Christmas was just lovely. We woke up late, had a roaring fire in our fireplace, opened stockings, ate cookies for breakfast {we're still doing that!}, and just spent good quality time together.

Our Christmas also included:

- silly family moments =)

 fairly normal and sweet family moments

 our annual gift to each other - a date day downtown at Macys! This was the best year yet - we got to sit right by the 450 year old fireplace at the Oak Grille!

this is one of my favorite pictures. ever.

also:
- my singing in the choir during the 10pm service. I've never seen the candle lighting from the back of the church before {for the last 10 years I've sat with a group of students in the very front row! But this year they were all out of town, so choir loft it was}
- so many lovely gifts - both given to me and given from us =)
- lots of starbucks Christmas blend and peppermint mocha coffeemate
- baking. and cooking. and decorating. and unpacking.
- so. much. laughter!

Those were our highlights! What were yours?
-a girl

my mess

Looks like I've been off the grid again. I have struggled with writing in the way that my heart is calling me to write - transparently, freely, truly sharing my mess. But lately I feel like there is just too much mess to share.
Jealousy has a hold on me. I feel straight up envy of those who are pregnant. And it seems to taunt me - several other women who lost babes the same week I did are now expecting again. Moms who already have children are expecting again. Women who weren't trying at all are expecting. Young girls are 'accidentally' expecting. And I am not.

I would have been 8 months pregnant this week.

I plot posts, collect funny anecdotes and pictures, and do nothing with them. Because my mess is too big. My smudges are too dark, my scrapes too deep to share with you.
Outings are planned, friends meet up, phone calls are made. And I feel forgotten and uninvited and alone. Despite my family and incredible husband, I stubbornly choose to feel alone. I allow the grey to cover me, and I struggle for joy.
Instead of sharing my stories of my mess with you, I shut the laptop and walk away. I choose the way of the coward. Instead of dumping my heart onto the screen, and sharing my mess, and using this space to heal, I bemoan my little numbers and 'friends' and depth of words.

That is the cowardly choice. Because my words are just that: mine. If they lack depth, it is because I neglected to dive deep.

As I read the Christmas cards that arrive in our mailbox , I discovered that they all had a different tone to them this year. The authors shared their messes. Stories of loss, stories of sickness, stories of sadness. They were honest and true.

Through their honesty, they made me see my cowardice.

I am not alone. I am not forgotten. Joy has never left me! Not once.

God is moving and weaving in and through my life {- and that includes my online life!} I love what He is doing. I love seeing His hand work. I don't always adore the circumstances, but I adore Him. And I fully believe that He brings beauty from ashes.

After all, He brought salvation to the world through a feeding trough in Bethlehem. Through a literal mess - straw, animals, probably poo =), an unwed teenager, stinky shepherds - He brought unrestrained, pure beauty.

If I don't choose to share my messes with you, I am not using a chance that I am offered to heal, to 'clean' up. Ann Voskamp wrote: "The Word God wastes nothing and He heals two broken hearts with one story – the reader and the writer."
I don't know if any of you experience healing or freedom in what I write, but I do.
And that is more than enough to plug away. Especially when I don't feel like it.

So excuse the mess, but here it is. Thank you for continuing to read it.
-a girl

just a little update

Life is busy. Stinkin' busy. I'm home tonight with a sinus infection {confirmed after a trip to the minute clinic today. Clarification: a trip to the 4th minute clinic we drove to. Apparently all CVS clinics take a lunch break at the same time. And the Cub clinic in AV - it's gone. Good to know.} I've been working on lots of things this past week - here's my list:

- unpacking. There are boxes ev.ery.where. There are tubs of Christmas decor ev.ery.where. There are dishes and dust and dog hair and clothes ev.ery.where. But it's our mess, in our house. So I'll take it =)

- decorating. The tree is up!! That's about the extent of decorations. Once some of those aforementioned boxes are unloaded, I'll post a house tour. But until then... trust me when I say, 'You don't wanna see this!'

- digging out from under the snow. This weekend, it snoooowwwed. Like we got over 17 inches. In one day. Seriously!! We had friends in town who were unable to go back home to ND, so they stayed put here with us. I was worried about having enough food - I only shop for two, and 2+2=4, so... - but it was like loaves and fishes!! =) I put 1lb of beef for stew, 1/2 a bag of frozen carrots, our last 5 potatoes, and 1 can each of tomato and cream of mushroom soups into the crock pot. Lo and behold, it was delicious and we all filled up our bellies! We watched the Grinch by a roaring fire, drank hot cider, and snuggled w/the puppy. It was SUCH a great way to spend the #snownami =)

- preparing for my husbands family to spend the weekend with us! We're doing Christmas this weekend. Which means there is wrapping and baking and cooking and cleaning to do. A lot of all of the above! And with this sinus infection, not sure how much I can get to. So I'll let y'all know how I do.

How has your week been?
-a girl

an ornament for 2010.

My friend Missy hosted a blog hop today about Christmas ornaments. While she was kind enough to invite me to participate, her emails landed in my junk box {boo} So I almost didn't link up a post for a few reasons:
1. It's 11:00pm
2. Our tree is not even close to being up{sob!}3. We have not begun to decorate {it's tricky to decorate when you just moved =) }

But I wanted to share one very special ornament that we have purchased and will hang on our tree this year, and all our years to come.

The picture is a little wonky, but you can kind of see it. A shell, with a pearl in it, inscribed with, "Every life leaves something beautiful behind."This is for our sweet baby, whom we never got to meet.

We miss her every day.

But she was here.

And of all the things she left behind, the biggest is hope.

We made her. And we will make another baby, because she proved that we can.

So it is with tears and hope that we will hang this ornament on our tree this year.

'Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord...' -psalm 31:24

'I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope...' -psalm 130:5

'May the God of all hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." -romans 15:13

-a girl

~~~

from Missy's post:
I encourage you to check out the posts (links below) to see the memories and traditions they are sharing.

If you would like to join us, feel free to write a post of your own and add your link below. Then click on "Get the code here" to add the box of links to the bottom of your post. (if you link up, you must add the box to your post to share the love)

Christmastime is here!

Just a quick post, friends! We are settling into our new life in our new home, and it. is. good. =) While our tree isn't up yet, the spirit of Christmas is deeply present in our family and within our new walls. The Christmas music hasn't stopped playing since before Thanksgiving. We've sipped on egg nog and crunched peppermint candies. The Christmas dishes are sparkling in my china hutch. We've even wrapped a few gifts!


I'm participating in an ornament exchange over at Kate's blog and I got my assigned girl today! I'll buy and send her an ornament, and will receive one from someone else. Isn't that cool? I also organized a secret santa at work. It's fun to see the little gifts left for people on the break table!

Yep, the Christmas spirit is a'flyin. And I love love love it!! I am so enjoying the freedom that this new home affords us, so please forgive me if I'm absent from here. It just means that I'm living up this new sweet life =)
-a girl