on being a parent

I have been a mama to my sweet Samuel for 7 weeks and 2 days (plus there were those 40 weeks of pregnancy...) In that blink of an eye time, I feel like I've learned more than I have throughout my whole entire life, and like I've learned nothing, all at once. The only sure, solid thing that Sam has taught me about being a parent is a lesson God's tried to teach me before, and I just couldn't grasp until now.

Parenting is completely, 100%, utterly and totally based on giving. To be a parent is to give.

{right now my mom is saying 'she finally gets it!' =) thanks mom!}

to give: up.
Eating meals while they're hot. Sleep. My waistline. My memory. Freedom to leave on a whim.
to give: deeply.
This tiny boy doesn't ask for my surface, my almost, my sort of. From birth, he has demanded my depth.

to give: all.
All my time. All my heart. All my patience, decisions. love, priorities...My life now? Our life? Is all for him.

to give: endlessly.
The days blur together. Night is day and day is exhausting and then it's over and another begins. They don't end, the feeding and diapers and snuggling and burping and feeding. Neither does the love. It just plain doesn't run out. Even when I'm in tears and Sam is screaming and Husby gets the smiles first... the love flows endless.

to give: more. til I'm empty.
Dig to the very bottom of what I know I am capable of, the end of what I have, then give more.

The funny thing is, when you're a parent, you want to give all this and more to your child.

I get it now, Lord.

-anna
{girlwithblog&baby}


linking up at Sarah's place